Monday, March 10, 2008

Random Loon Stalking Britney Spears, Sending Sex Toys

http://images.askmen.com/galleries/singer/britney-spears/pictures/britney-spears-picture-1.jpg
Britney Spears news and gossip rarely takes a break. But you can’t deny that it’s becoming weirder - and seemingly more bogus - of late.
As reported by OK! Magazine, the struggling bipolar babe has recently found herself on the receiving end of a mysterious, obsessed fan.
One who has been sending the star threatening packages. OK! claims to have the details of what has Britney’s inner circle and security team running to the FBI.
“It started about six weeks ago with just letters being sent once a week,” a source who has supposedly seen the packages reveals to OK!.
“And then it quickly escalated to larger packages that now arrive 2-3 times a week — always to the same L.A. address, but never to Britney’s homes.”
Perhaps this is what Jamie Spears and K-Fed were discussing on the golf course. Either way, it’s a good thing the boxes never made it to the singer’s door.
What’s inside could not be good for her mental state.
“The first thing you see when you open the box is a huge, lavender-colored, battery-operated sex toy, still with the price tag on it.”

Gee whiz. Someone done send me ma sex toy, y’all!!
Alongside the mechanical apparatus are two letters — one handwritten and one written on a computer — threatening and pornographic in nature.
“The handwritten one is on note paper and it’s written in a crazy, all-caps chicken scratch,” says the source, who says the five-page letter contains pornographic details of the writer’s fantasy exploits with Britney Spears.
NOTE: Is this loser watching music videos form like 2001 or something? No offense to Britney, but these days? Would you hit that? Come on.
NOTE #2: No offense, Adnan.
Perhaps the scariest item is picture of the sender (or just some dude) — a white, middle-aged male with stringy, greasy hair — with eyes cut out of the photo.
Oh, and it gets better, believe us. In the photo, the man appears to be squirting some sort of yellowish liquid into his open mouth. Lovely.
“It’s like something from a bad movie,” says the source. “If I hadn’t seen it myself, I wouldn’t believe it.”
“Insiders” tell OK! that the packages, which all come with a return address in the Minneapolis, Minn., area, are immediately handed over to Britney Spears‘ security team, who in turn hand them over to the FBI for review.
http://www.fashion.ie/aggregator/gossip/57528-random-loon-stalking-britney-spears-sending-sex-toys

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